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Statesville Prison Break: The Good. The Bad and The Loons

What the HELL??? No, that wasn’t meant to be profane. Hell has literally broken loose on the town. The only good thing about this stupid-(BEEP!) storyline is that we were treated to seeing our favorite past characters and past villains onscreen in one massive group. I am not fond of the Cole recast AT ALL, but seeing Starr reunited with the character of Cole was entertaining.

I am NOT, repeat, NOT happy with the turn they gave to James. Suddenly he was scorning Starr about Cole? Regardless to what role he is in with Starr, Cole is Hope’s FATHER, and he must always understand that she will love him for their history and their connection. I did agree with James’ protectiveness of her regarding the possible repercussions she’d face for harboring a fugitive, but the rest was simple jealousy.

Cole’s interaction with Hannah was priceless, as was the interaction between her and Todd. However, I nearly suffocated when Todd acted as if he was going to confess to her that he’d killed Victor. That would have been such a wrong move for him. I was very happy to see that Starr finally got off a few shots on the psycho when the police came for Hannah, but I was saddened to see that it wasn’t before she clipped Cole with a bullet.

Troy and Nora was another great connection with nostalgia, but I think I wanted to zap Nora on the head with a thinking cap re-energizing burst as well.

How the hell could you sit there and trust TROY with your husband’s life without holding him at gunpoint to ensure that he didn’t sabotage Bo’s recovery? Um, DUH!!! He WANTS BO OUT OF THE WAY, you ditz!

Lindsay and the Superbroom’s return to canvas was another treat. I have sorely missed Catherine Hickland ‘s talents in Llanview, and seeing her back in action was indescribable with any mere words.

Mitch, that ghastly demon, has reappeared, and his cult leader Allison has returned with them. That crazy Satan incarnate still gives me chills and evokes nausea every time I see him! BRRR!! Allison of course, is hilarious in her lunacy, and hearing her tell Clint and Viki that both that she lied to Mitch about an impossible situation being true to save herself from being strangled to death brings a mixed reaction from me. I really don’t think that revealing that Jessica is indeed Clint’s biological daughter made any impact on the show. We have all accepted Clint being Jessica’s father despite the DNA test by now. But hearing Allison’s digs about Natalie was hilarious. Slutty McSlut Slut made me think she was referring to one of Ronald McDonald’s McDonaldland characters at first!

And here’s my list of gripes with this situation…

Why is it that Natalie froze when John showed up to rescue her and Mitch had h is back turned? She ran into a corner instead of finding a weapon to bash the cuckoo bird over his head.

And then there’s this…

If everyone in Statesville escaped, why didn’t the writer think to let Brad be on that list so he could come back for Jack? Instead, we got the nuts running the asylum, Bo, Cole, and Viki shot, Ford and Clint collapsed on the floor fighting for their lives.

Yes, we did get the pleasure of seeing Mitch get shot…AGAIN, but will we see this energizer bunny beat death again this week? The other bonus was John and Natalie kissing, but will we be treated with that reunion lasting into the show’s great send-off?? You never know with these writers.

Pepcid Moments of the Week:

I still get nauseated seeing the likes of Rick and Mitch Lawrence making references and gestures toward women. Mitch is just an outright child molester, and Rick isn’t that far behind. That is the ONLY thing about the show’s end that I appreciate.

Tearjerker of the Week

Blair and Neela’s respective situations with Jack. Blair’s heartbreak with Jack as his mother, and Neela’s struggling with the outcome of her taping him touched me deeply. Gigi and Shane’s reunion’s was priceless!!!

Cheers and Jeers of the Week

Cheers: To Blair and Neela: For standing up for what’s right and saddling the cyborg.
To Todd: For rattling Hannah’s chain.
To Allison: For just being a hilarious loon.
To Gigi and Shane: For making Jack feel the wrath of his actions, and for the greatest tear-jerking reunion in this show’s recent history.
Jeers: To Todd: For the continuous deception and going after Neela.
To Mitch and Rick: You disgusting pigs!
TO THE FACEBOOK FAN SITE MEMBERS:

Rhonda, Ellen, Jillian, Valerie, Luna Starr, JoAnn, Rosalyn, Betty and all of The Great Ones:

The time is drawing near for our soap bonding to come to an end, but what you have all become to me will never die. Thank you for making this column a part of your busy days and hectic lives. You will all be VIP’s to me.

Wrapping It Up

This entire scenario is a sad one. It feels like we are all forced to watch our Titanic sink and we can’t do anything about it. I know I’m not alone in feeling cheated of far more than just our soaps. We were cheated out of a great last month of a landmark in television. The actors could have been given better scripts, the fans could have been given greater storylines, and dammit, we all were entitled to a harder, stronger fight for Prospect Park to keep the legacy going. The actors are most certainly entitled to demand their worth in salary and benefits, and even if they had to stretch their outgoing expenses in the beginning to do so. Their investment would have been returned three times over in no time, because we fans would never have abandoned our show if it went online. To those who can’t understand why we are going so hard about what they perceive to be just a simple soap opera, let me set the record straight.

We are well aware of the fact the soaps are just pretend, but in life a little pretending, fantasizing and dreaming is a vital balance to humanity. No matter how trendy health shows and reality shows are, everyone wants to go see a movie or read a book to escape the cruelties and harsh fears of our world once in a while. It’s a sad thing when the quality of life becomes nothing but a mere business deal, and the child in us is negotiable if someone is willing to pay top dollar for it.

Until next week, readers. God bless.

Kaydee

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Gigi's return—Speak up!

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