From Man to Dad: Changes in Life
Becoming a father is a big step. Hopefully it is something you have been looking forward to and planning for.
But even if the pregnancy comes as a big surprise and you have some worries about how you will cope, you will probably still feel excited about the prospect of entering this new, grown-up phase of your life.
Being responsible for a new tiny person may be daunting. Your life will change. But the chances are this will be the happiest time of your life.
Your first thoughts may be with your partner and how you can best support her through the pregnancy, labour and birth of your child.
But there are bound to be other thoughts running through your head. Here are some likely ones€¦
Money
Unless you are very wealthy, you are bound to have some concerns about how you will manage financially with a baby. The reduction, or loss, of your partner's full salary (even temporarily) coupled with all the baby equipment, nappies and other paraphernalia you are thinking you will have to buy may stretch your limited finances.
Check out all the benefits you and your partner are entitled to claim, consider borrowing baby equipment from friends or family or check out the online sites and charity shops for good second hand bargains. Your baby doesn't need everything brand new.
Sex
It's possible your partner may feel more sexy during pregnancy and your love life could be better than ever. But if she does lose some interest in sex, try to be understanding and find other ways to be close. She may be feeling that her growing body is a turn-off so make sure she knows you still find her attractive.
It may be you that is put off sex. Don't worry, intercourse can't harm the growing baby.
Doing more
Maybe you are not sure how you can help your pregnant partner? Extreme tiredness is common during the first trimester so some practical help with shopping, housework and cooking would be appreciated. Nearer the due date you can help stock up the house with essential shopping items and maybe even make some meals to freeze so you don't have to think about these things when baby arrives.
Emotional support
Now is the time to really be a man and empathise with your partner. Read up on babies (on websites or in books) accompany the mum-to-be to antenatal clinics, scans and parenting classes when you can. Offer reassurance to your partner when she is emotional or worried.
Be prepared
Help your partner with her birthing plan and familiarise yourself with what is going to happen so you can help at the birth.
How will you feel?
A surprisingly high percentage of men report suffering from one or more of their partner's pregnancy symptoms be it mood swings, sickness, tiredness, food cravings or bloating. It's not unusual for men to gain up to two stone in weight - often mostly on the belly!
The cause is mainly the hormone prolactin which is secreted by the pituitary gland. This hormone makes men more attached and emotionally responsive to their newborn babies. Production of the male hormone testosterone tends to reduce at this time too. It's a common phenomenon in the animal kingdom and tames the male's libido while making them more tender and caring.
Some men feel emotional because they are anxious about what lies ahead. They worry they won't be able to cope, bond or provide for their family. Some feelings of anxiety are to be expected. This step from man to dad is life-changing.
Talking to your partner or other new dads can help, but if the feelings are overpowering see your GP. You could also try doing some exercise to boost feel-good endorphins, do some practical things like decorating the nursery to take your mind off your anxieties.
Once your baby arrives you may feel mixed feelings and could even have a dose of the baby blues due mainly to hormonal changes and interrupted sleep. Again, speak to someone, don't bottle up your feelings.
Unless you have a history of diagnosed depression, stress and sadness will pass and you will soon look back and wonder what on earth you were worried about.
But even if the pregnancy comes as a big surprise and you have some worries about how you will cope, you will probably still feel excited about the prospect of entering this new, grown-up phase of your life.
Being responsible for a new tiny person may be daunting. Your life will change. But the chances are this will be the happiest time of your life.
Your first thoughts may be with your partner and how you can best support her through the pregnancy, labour and birth of your child.
But there are bound to be other thoughts running through your head. Here are some likely ones€¦
Money
Unless you are very wealthy, you are bound to have some concerns about how you will manage financially with a baby. The reduction, or loss, of your partner's full salary (even temporarily) coupled with all the baby equipment, nappies and other paraphernalia you are thinking you will have to buy may stretch your limited finances.
Check out all the benefits you and your partner are entitled to claim, consider borrowing baby equipment from friends or family or check out the online sites and charity shops for good second hand bargains. Your baby doesn't need everything brand new.
Sex
It's possible your partner may feel more sexy during pregnancy and your love life could be better than ever. But if she does lose some interest in sex, try to be understanding and find other ways to be close. She may be feeling that her growing body is a turn-off so make sure she knows you still find her attractive.
It may be you that is put off sex. Don't worry, intercourse can't harm the growing baby.
Doing more
Maybe you are not sure how you can help your pregnant partner? Extreme tiredness is common during the first trimester so some practical help with shopping, housework and cooking would be appreciated. Nearer the due date you can help stock up the house with essential shopping items and maybe even make some meals to freeze so you don't have to think about these things when baby arrives.
Emotional support
Now is the time to really be a man and empathise with your partner. Read up on babies (on websites or in books) accompany the mum-to-be to antenatal clinics, scans and parenting classes when you can. Offer reassurance to your partner when she is emotional or worried.
Be prepared
Help your partner with her birthing plan and familiarise yourself with what is going to happen so you can help at the birth.
How will you feel?
A surprisingly high percentage of men report suffering from one or more of their partner's pregnancy symptoms be it mood swings, sickness, tiredness, food cravings or bloating. It's not unusual for men to gain up to two stone in weight - often mostly on the belly!
The cause is mainly the hormone prolactin which is secreted by the pituitary gland. This hormone makes men more attached and emotionally responsive to their newborn babies. Production of the male hormone testosterone tends to reduce at this time too. It's a common phenomenon in the animal kingdom and tames the male's libido while making them more tender and caring.
Some men feel emotional because they are anxious about what lies ahead. They worry they won't be able to cope, bond or provide for their family. Some feelings of anxiety are to be expected. This step from man to dad is life-changing.
Talking to your partner or other new dads can help, but if the feelings are overpowering see your GP. You could also try doing some exercise to boost feel-good endorphins, do some practical things like decorating the nursery to take your mind off your anxieties.
Once your baby arrives you may feel mixed feelings and could even have a dose of the baby blues due mainly to hormonal changes and interrupted sleep. Again, speak to someone, don't bottle up your feelings.
Unless you have a history of diagnosed depression, stress and sadness will pass and you will soon look back and wonder what on earth you were worried about.
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