How to Survive Leaving a Relationship
- 1). Stay in the present. Initially, you may feel some shock or disbelief. It's not unusual, at first, to think, "How can this be happening?". Anxiety about the future may also surface now that your future plans have changed. Try to remind yourself how this end could also mean the beginning of a new and happier stage in your life. When the anxiety gets overwhelming, breathe deeply and think of your blessings.
- 2). Give yourself permission to feel angry. While no one person can take full responsibility for the end of a relationship, it's OK to acknowledge how some needs went unfulfilled. You may also feel anger at the situation itself. Watching children experience a divorce gives parents a sense of frustration and hopelessness. Feeling angry is an important stage in moving forward, so don't deny these emotions. Keeping a journal often helps bring clarity and expression to powerful feelings.
- 3). Be kind to yourself. The middle of the grieving process stinks. As the reality sinks in, life may look bleak. Take time each day to comfort yourself with something enjoyable. Read a good book, get a massage, take a bubble bath, watch a movie or buy yourself something new. Most importantly, watch for symptoms of depression. While depressed feelings are normal during a breakup, a lingering depression requires medical attention. The normal grieving process should lift gradually as time moves forward. If you feel stuck in your sadness, seek professional help.
- 4). Get busy. Positive action leads to more positive action. Taking a walk, cleaning a closet or joining a book club may feel like the last thing you need. Taking some action, however, may dramatically improve your mood and outlook on life. Laying in bed and mulling over a breakup is OK for a bit. If hours turn into days, force yourself to do something. Walking around the block may seem too much, so tell yourself you will walk for five minutes. Five minutes often leads to 30 minutes.
- 5). Reach out to others. Don't worry about "burdening" others with your problems. True friends understand life has ups and downs. Giving your friends a chance to help may make them feel better, too. No one likes to see a friend in pain. Giving a friend a safe place to relax or a mood-boosting day out helps your friends feel like they are helping to make things better. Consider how you would feel if the tables were turned.
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