Assertive Communication in Conflict Resolution
Assertive communication is an important technique that will get you through the mill during a negotiation or decision-making process.
Assertive communication is not about raising voices or using clock-stopping words to get your point across.
In fact, the most assertive communicators are those who have the great ability to keep their cool and speak in modulated tones when conversations heat up because of the clashes of personalities involved.
You can learn to be an assertive communicator by observing a few basic rules on communication.
First and foremost in any form of conflict management is to listen to your opponent and listen to him intently.
You will not have the basis for winning over if you do not know the arguments that go against your opinion.
Ask about the things that are not clear to you, and do it in an amiable manner.
Approaching conflict with some pleasantness immediately can get defences down and pave the way for more productive talk.
You can also develop the eye and ear to discover your opponent's hidden messages.
Most often, people who approach the negotiation table bring with them a lot of hidden issues.
Most often, it's the issues that make them difficult people to negotiate with, and not the apparent conflict of interest itself.
When you get to the heart of the issues, move in to establish a common ground.
It works very well to put those involved at a common, neutral standpoint rather than keep their views on opposite sides of the fence.
On common ground, both you and your opponent will get into admissions that will bring you closer to a resolution.
Afterwards, work your way into identifying what both ends want to achieve, so you can move up step-by-step towards a compromise.
It pays to give attention to the fine points you disagree on and work towards concrete solutions.
The heart of being an assertive communicator is in making opposing ends feel they have been heard out.
That's the irony of it all - if only more people are open to listening before getting into conflicting situations, there will be a lot lesser issues to deal with in this world.