How to Give a Sincere Compliment or Affirmation
- 1). Speak honestly. Most people can distinguish between empty flattery and sincere appreciation. Give compliments only when you are genuinely impressed and appreciative.
- 2). Point out specifics. Generic compliments like "you look nice" or "good job" come across as flat and insincere. Instead, remark on what you find particularly striking in this person's appearance, or what specifically impressed you about the job.
- 3). Tell the complimented how he or she has positively affected you and your life. Giving concrete examples demonstrates your bona fide appreciation. For example, to a the compliment "you have a great sense of humor" you could add something like this, "I was in a terrible mood until you made that joke. I laughed the rest of the afternoon."
- 4). Ask follow-up questions. Paying someone a compliment as a closed, declarative statement leaves the person with nothing else to say, except "thank you." Lead the complimented into conversation by asking questions. Instead of just telling someone what you like about a job she did, try something like this: "Great job on that last project. You really had some innovative ideas, and you showed great leadership through the whole thing. Was it hard getting everyone on board with you?"
- 5). Avoid the backhand. Don't qualify your compliment with anything negative. Saying something like "this outfit's much more flattering than what you usually wear" will only come across as insulting.
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