How to Handle A Cheater
- 1). Try not to blame yourself. Remember that it is your partner who chose to ignore the commitment you had together. Avoid questioning whether something you did or said pushed him to cheat. This is not the case. He made the decision by himself; therefore, he is responsible for his own actions.
- 2). Talk to your partner. Ask him questions and explain that you want him to be totally honest when he answers. Neither of you can even consider rebuilding the relationship unless he is straight with you, says Dr. Phil McGraw. Do not be afraid to ask questions, even if you think the topics are sensitive. It is all part of processing what has happened.
- 3). Take time out to consider your options. It is important to realize that you do not have to make a decision about your relationship quickly. Relationships do recover from infidelity; however, this takes hard work and time. If your partner is a serial cheater, you will need to consider whether he will ever change his behavior. One thing you will not be able to do is restart your relationship as if nothing happened. Don't make a rash decision you may regret later on.
- 4). Set clear rules and boundaries if you decide to give your partner a second chance. This should include the request that all contact with the other woman stop immediately. You need to think about what your partner can do to help rebuild your trust in him. This may mean complete access to his cell phone and emails as well as knowing where he is going at all times. These measures may seem extreme, but if your partner is serious about regaining your trust, he will understand and be willing to do whatever it takes.
- 5). Give yourself time to come to terms with the betrayal. Do not tell your partner you forgive him unless you absolutely mean it. Offering forgiveness means just that; you can't throw his infidelity in his face every time you argue. It will be a long time before you are even close to trusting him again, and for your relationship to stand a chance, he needs to understand this.
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