Making the Most of Your Time With Parents
My parents have both lost their short-term memory and my mom has been diagnosed with a non-specific dementia which we believe is a result of the stroke she had several years ago.
Over the past few years, I really struggled with how to make the most of my visits with my parents without leaving sad, frustrated and angry.
I'm worried for their (and others) safety, and they seem oblivious to their issues and resist any feedback from their four children.
The best times I spent with my parents, I arrived without an agenda or opinion on how they were currently living their life as well as came prepared.
Two ways to make the most of your time with your parents is to come prepared.
Bring Pictures.
Bringing these to share gives you something you can look at and talk about.
Sometimes my parents remember the event and can even share additional memories about it with me.
I didn't come up with this - my mom did.
She would carry pictures in her purse and share them with me - and I realized how much she really liked looking and talking about when the picture was taken and who else was there.
I now carry an envelope full of them and rotate through some of favored events she still remembers or likes to talk about.
Ask About Their Childhood.
When my mom started to talk about playing basketball (something she never did), I realized that I needed to work to document a little more about their life.
I created questions and will bring them along when I visit and ask them about their childhood, their siblings as kids or notable events that happened when they were younger.
On a recent visit, my dad had this fantastic story about spilling his lunch pail when he was a little boy.
The story was so vivid I felt like I was watching a movie and still envision his lunch pail bouncing down the school steps.
It takes time to learn how to better communicate with someone with short-term memory loss and dementia and make the most of your time together - especially someone you know really well.
Instead of dreading my visits, I'm working on turning each one into a treasure hunt for a memory we can share.
I hope these suggestions help you with your parents and you find out more about them than you knew before.
Over the past few years, I really struggled with how to make the most of my visits with my parents without leaving sad, frustrated and angry.
I'm worried for their (and others) safety, and they seem oblivious to their issues and resist any feedback from their four children.
The best times I spent with my parents, I arrived without an agenda or opinion on how they were currently living their life as well as came prepared.
Two ways to make the most of your time with your parents is to come prepared.
Bring Pictures.
Bringing these to share gives you something you can look at and talk about.
Sometimes my parents remember the event and can even share additional memories about it with me.
I didn't come up with this - my mom did.
She would carry pictures in her purse and share them with me - and I realized how much she really liked looking and talking about when the picture was taken and who else was there.
I now carry an envelope full of them and rotate through some of favored events she still remembers or likes to talk about.
Ask About Their Childhood.
When my mom started to talk about playing basketball (something she never did), I realized that I needed to work to document a little more about their life.
I created questions and will bring them along when I visit and ask them about their childhood, their siblings as kids or notable events that happened when they were younger.
On a recent visit, my dad had this fantastic story about spilling his lunch pail when he was a little boy.
The story was so vivid I felt like I was watching a movie and still envision his lunch pail bouncing down the school steps.
It takes time to learn how to better communicate with someone with short-term memory loss and dementia and make the most of your time together - especially someone you know really well.
Instead of dreading my visits, I'm working on turning each one into a treasure hunt for a memory we can share.
I hope these suggestions help you with your parents and you find out more about them than you knew before.
Source...