If you want to figure out how to win back a guy, you need to first assess the relationship and see what went wrong.
What happened? What went wrong that caused him to leave? The best way to start this assessment is to look inward at yourself.
Don't blame yourself, but try and figure out if there's things you could have done differently.
One interesting thing about relationships and life in general is that it's actually possible to train someone to act and behave in a certain way.
In fact, it happens all the time with almost every interaction, but we are rarely aware of what's going on.
Believe it or not, you may have actually trained your boyfriend or husband to leave you.
The truth is we train people to treat us well and we train people to treat us poorly every single day.
However, since we are not consciously aware of this phenomena, we fail to realize that it may actually be our fault when people don't act the way we want them to.
To figure out how to win back a guy, you need to figure out if you actually trained him to leave you.
This may be difficult to understand, so let's look at an example.
In your relationship were there times when your man went out with friends and you wanted him to call and let you know what was going on? Perhaps he lost track of time and called eventually, but not when you wanted him to.
How did you respond? Like many people, you probably got a little angry and said something like, "It's about time! Where have you been? What have you been doing?" Do you know what you just did? You reinforced in his mind that calling you leads to a guilt trip, an interrogation, and therefore pain.
So the next time the same thing happens and probably even gets worse.
Pretty soon he probably doesn't call at all.
Virtually all behaviors are controlled by one of two motivators.
People move away from things that cause pain, and they move toward things that cause pleasure.
In the example above, when your man calls (even when it's later than he is supposed to), a better reaction would be, "Hey baby! I'm so glad to hear from you.
Are you having fun?" When you react in this way, you will actually train him to call you without you even asking him to because he will associate calling with gaining pleasure from hearing a happy, excited, caring voice that makes him feel important.
Does that make sense? It boils down to this.
Punish undesired behavior and reward desired behavior, and you can actually train people to do what you want without them even knowing it.
An example that might be easier to understand is puppy training.
When you call your puppy to come and it doesn't come for a long time, what do you do? Do you punish it when it finally does come to you or do you reward it with a treat for coming even if it didn't listen the first couple of times? You reward it because coming is the desired behavior.
If you punish the dog when it comes, then it won't want to come to you again.
Believe it or not, your man is no different.
If you want to win back a guy, remember what has been mentioned in this article.
Determine if you were actually causing undesired behaviors from him during your relationship.
The good news is when you understand this concept, you can apply the conscious retraining method and reverse the situation.