Types

• In general, there is a wide gulf between the way that men see the world and the way that women see the world. Men tend to look for concrete ways to fix things when there is a problem. They like to take action. That is why it is difficult for men when women cry, or express general displeasure. They do not know what to do. Women tend to seek comfort when they are upset. They want to touch, hug, gossip, share, cry. As a rule of thumb, men generally only enjoy physical proximity when they are being offered sexual closeness. A recent study showed what urban folklore already knows: When aroused, men tend to find less attractive women more attractive when they believe they will have sex with them.
  
  

Theories/Speculation

• When dating a man, a woman may want to show a man she likes him by having sex with him on the first date. Many women learn, however, that early sexual closeness does not always translate to love and relationship. Two generalities that exist in the modern psychology are the following: Because of the higher level of testosterone in men, men tend to want to have sex outside of relationships. Because women are usually the family caretakers, in general, they are less likely to stray from a committed relationship.
  
  

Potential

• A popular dating book for women several years ago put forth the following ideas: Women tend to want to 'fix' their men, meaning that they stick with men that are not in sync with their values. Women think that because they love a man, the man will conform to her desires and wishes. This will almost never be the case. It is best to accept your man for who he is. That is, his character flaws are not likely to change, so the woman has to decide whether she can live with this long term rather than try to change him wholesale. Trying to fix a person will only end up making two people unhappy.
  
  

Theories/Speculation

• The current trend of male-centered psychology books formulate the following ideas: Women tend to misunderstand men when they try to seek comfort from men when they are going through a problem. Men generally feel manipulated by women when they see tears, even if women are genuinely honest when they are trying to seek comfort. This genre suggests that instead of getting hugs from your man, ask him to help you with something practical. Maybe ask the man if he can get you some tissues from the store.
  
  

Prevention/Solution

• When trying to win the heart of the man in your life, try some common sense instead of all the self-help mumbo jumbo. Universally, men like to feel appreciated. If there is a real crisis going on, let the man in your life know he is appreciated. Sincerely tell him he DID that you appreciated. Give him something to do--even a small thing that lets him know he's the provider. For example, when family friends are over, have him get some cool beers from the basement. Have him say grace, make a toast. Include him in community activities in pleasurable ways that let him know he is essential to communal functioning. When you ask your man to help around the house, and he does not reach your expectations exactly, thank him for his help, but do not criticize him for his efforts. It takes time for anyone to learn new skills.