Listening

• Listening is perhaps the best parenting technique available for dealing with jealousy and other emotional hurts. Naomi Aldort of the Natural Child Project suggests three main requirements for a beneficial conversation with an upset child. First, give the child your undivided attention when she is upset. Take time to listen instead of immediately giving advice. Second, make sure you are respectful while listening. Acknowledge the reality of your child's feelings instead of saying her feelings are unjustified. For example, responding, "I understand it upsets you that the new baby takes so much of our time," instead of, "You shouldn't be jealous of your new sister," treats your child's emotions with respect. Depending on your child, silent, attentive listening might work best. Aldort shares, "When hateful feelings are expressed in the validation of silent listening, the child can move through the emotion and experience love and happiness." Finally, make sure that you and your child have a trusting relationship. It is vital that your child can confide her feelings to you. Openly accept angry feelings, but make sure that your child does not aggressively hurt another child.
  
  

Creativity

• Validate your child's feelings in a creative way. Imaginative play is a good way to do this. If your young child is commonly jealous, create scenarios of jealousy during imaginative play and have the characters experiment with different reactions. Books for children are also a good method for discussing jealousy. There is wide variety available for all age levels, including "The Bernstein Bears and the Green-Eyed Monster," "Another Tree in the Yard," and "A Guys' Guide to Jealousy/A Girls' Guide to Jealousy." Read and discuss a book targeted at your child's level in a non-judgemental manner. If age appropriate, try to provide a positive outlet for your child's feelings of jealousy. Supply him with a journal or art supplies and encourage him to create representations of jealousy.
  
  

Self-Esteem

• Increase your child's self-esteem. Perhaps the jealousy is caused by a new sibling, a remarriage or some other life-changing event. If your child is feeling overlooked, make a point of spending one-on-one time with her each day. Let your child know that she is special to you. For a child that is jealous of a younger sibling, discuss and celebrate the many "grown-up" things she can do that her younger sibling cannot. If the jealousy is over an older sibling, point out the fun parts of being young. Highlight the positive and unique characteristics that make your child a wonderful person, and take care not to compare children.
  
  

Honesty

• Be honest with your children. Jealousy is a natural emotion. Share times that you have been, or are, jealous of others. Discuss with your child how you deal with your emotions. If your child is jealous over material items of another child, validate that jealousy, then see if a discussion of the great things your family does possess makes your child feel better.