Raising teenagers and preteens is never a boring experience.
Things change from day to day with their moods, and we as adults might need to remind ourselves at times that it's normal for adolescents to be moody.
After all, they're dealing with fluctuating hormone levels, as well as a rapidly changing body and brain.
One of the characteristics that seems to mark these years is a sudden need for privacy.
Little kids don't seem to mind running around naked (in fact, they might enjoy it), or having you listen to them when they play, or telling you all the minute details of their day.
Then one day, when the hormones kick in, that same child might post a sign outside her door saying "Private", or suddenly become disengaged when asked how things are at school ("Fine").
Suddenly, several different clothing ensembles need to be tried on before she can go out the door, and she obsesses about the width of her nose or the one teensy-weensy pimple on her forehead.
You are used to arguing with her about her desire to wear her sparkly Hello Kitty dress to school every day for a week, and now you are finding more laundry in her hamper than the rest of the family combined.
Instead of having to remind her to take a shower, you have to remind her to get out of it.
What's going on here? Why do preteens and teens feel so much pressure to look good, act perfectly, say exactly the right thing in every social situation, and thenhide out in their rooms when they come home? The truth is, if your adolescent is acting this way, it means she's going through a normal stage of development.
Psychologists have named it the Imaginary Audience.
It's a normal stage of early adolescence in which the child believes that lots and lots of people are enthusiastically watching her every move.
She feels that she's on stage all the time, and that she's always being judged.
It's no wonder that she wants to disappear in her bedroom.
After all, being in the continual spotlight, even an imaginary one, is very stressful.
Most people outgrow this stage by the end of adolescence, but at her age, it's completely normal.
The Imaginary Audience is very real to adolescents.
It's normal for them to go through it.
As adults, dealing with this can be challenging, but it helps to try to remember what it felt like to be an adolescent (if we can remember back that far).
This age can be scary.
The best we can do for them is love and support them, and respect the way they feel.
That might mean listening when they need to talk, and taking their feelings at face value and not discounting them.
The preteen and teen years can be stormy for all involved, but they are never dull.
Understanding and supporting your child in this time will go a long way to helping her get through it well, and come out on the other side as an emotionally healthy adult.
Our children are gifts.
Let's enjoy them, and go with the flow.
We'll never be bored.