The Best 4/20 Weed Jokes

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What do you call a person who remembers what they did at Woodstock?


A Liar.

What do you call one bowl between three tokers?


Malnutrition.

What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt?


A pot hole!

How do you know you are a true stoner?


When your bong gets washed more than your dishes.

What is Reality?


An illusion caused by a lack of good weed.

What is the difference between a drunk guy and a stoner at a stop sign?


The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green.

How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb.


Screw it, we got lighters.

How long does it take before a pound of bud goes bad?


I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!

How do you hide pot from a hippie?


Put it in his work boots.

What is the difference between politicians and stoners?


Politicians don't inhale...they just suck.
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