Just so you know, I'm an alpha male through and through.
It oozes out of my testosterone drenched wit and pounds its hairy chest when I cheer brutishly for my favorite sports team.
And I believe that The Almighty God is a woman.
A strong, wise, totally-in-control matriarch.
Okay, let's get one thing straight right off the bat.
GOD isn't really a woman OR a man.
To assign something as human and temporal as gender to the Almighty is pretty absurd, don't you think?After all, before there was human-kind, and thus before there was such a thing as genetic differences resulting in gender, there was God.
Assigning a gender to God is like assigning a gender to the letter "A", or somehow asserting that the sky itself is either male or female.
It's simply irrelevant.
This compulsion to declare a gender for God is part of a larger case of humanistic self-indulgence - that of assigning all manner of human traits to the Almighty.
What a bizarre state of thinking!Whatever traits God may have, they are most certainly in a completely different league than the weaknesses or strengths of human beings.
Speaking literally, there is no way that we mere humans can fully comprehend, much less articulate, the true nature of the Almighty.
Thousands of years ago, the greatest minds in the history of mankind pondered this very challenge and could never articulate a unified concept.
Indeed, the many words used to characterize God - logos, First Cause, universe, truth, omnipotent - serve to illustrate the vast indescribable-ness of the Supreme Power of the Universe.
Aristotle himself once mused that the limits of language prohibits adequately explaining the Being that created the capacity for language in the first place.
Still, though, we must go for it.
In any case, whatever position one takes in the discussion about God's gender, it's a silly position and one that should be taken with a serious grain of sea salt (preferably along with a shot of Cuervo).
Having said that, I do think there is value in participating in this folly of gender-fying the Supreme Cause of the Universe.
And I'm pretty sure that She understands our need to do it, and maybe even gets a chuckle from it.
(Yes, I believe that God has a sense of humor, otherwise how do you explain Jerry Falwell?) One very important part of our spiritual growth is to seek to understand God on our own terms and create a personal relationship with that power.
God has a will for us, and we ought to contemplate that.
Furthermore, to the degree that we are capable of understanding that Will, we ought to pursue it.
The Divine Prerogative of God is a pretty gargantuan thing to wrap one's mind around.
Indeed, even the contemplation of such a dominant presence can leave us poor humans psychically paralyzed.
And so, anything that allows us to grasp the infinite greatness of God is a good thing, even if it is sophomoric.
It might be the best we can do at this level of awareness.
The traditional hierarchies of faith would prefer us all to believe that God is a Being that is only accessed through intermediaries such as priests, clerics, pontiffs or confessors.
In support of this separatist approach to Divine Awareness, they seek to complicate the issue and build layers of ceremony and unintelligible dialogue that serves only to confuse and subjugate the masses.
Part of this centuries-old strategy includes claiming Divine insight into the actual portrait of the Supreme Being - defining God as a stern, bearded master who requires obedience on bended knee, and somehow is honored with elaborate trappings and lots of symbols and colored glass.
Since none of us really has a clue about the infinite nature of God, I suppose that approach is as valid as any other, except when it is taken too seriously and people start killing each other over it.
Speaking for myself, I take great comfort in believing that I am able to talk directly to God without the aid of an interpreter.
And it further helps me to believe that I'm talking to a being that is like me and appreciates my unique being, as pretentious as that may be.
I'm sure we'll all have a good snicker over it when the cosmic time comes, but for now, that's what works and that's what I'm doing.
So, why the conclusion that God is a woman rather than a man?The God I believe in isn't a stern, domineering patriarch who thunders disapproval and dishes out horrible punishment.
My God doesn't wage war and doesn't injure and maltreat those who make mistakes.
My God isn't short of cash, has no use for fine robes and elaborate cathedrals, loves ALL the magnificent creatures on this planet (regardless of their race, nationality, politics or sexual orientation) and has no interest whatsoever in beating up your God.
My God is a magnificent Being of limitless grace, incomparable beauty, compassion, nurture and Divine wisdom.
My God created a garden in which we might prosper, grow and flourish in peace, not a brutal proving ground in which we must suffer and be tested.
Not a place of stringent guidelines that lead to eternal damnation and anguish for those who falter.
How ghastly.
How profane! The God of popular Biblical history is a typical male monarch, though with much greater power than Alexander The Great or Julius Caesar.
But no less vain and petty.
He builds armies, conquers heathens and demands servitude.
His greatness is celebrated with huge monuments.
Somehow, his righteousness is measured and validated in political triumph, economic superiority and military dominance.
"Humble" men and women promote his benevolent agenda of world domination, all the while feigning outrage and sorrow at the suffering and hopelessness of millions.
Who, but a self-serving monarch, would allow his "generals and pundits" to wallow in luxury and power while his citizens went hungry or were brutalized by others?Yep, if that's not the classic male potentate stereo-type, I don't know what is.
Jealous, angry, demanding of obedience, war-like, something to be feared - sounds a lot like the male animal doesn't it? The other side of God, the side that calls out to our kindness and loving nature, is decidedly feminine.
Those traits that encourage us to be better people and take care of each other - generosity, grace, forgiveness, nurturing, peacefulness - are female.
Go ahead, be indignant about the gender pigeon-holing if you must.
But you can't argue with the truism.
The benevolent, generous, humanitarian, approachable traits that we truly worship in our deity are all feminine.
Those traits that we fear, that we accommodate out of servitude, are all male.
And so, since it's all made up anyway, I choose to honor the female God.
Lest you think She's a pushover, think again.
She expects me to live up to my potential, to use the gifts She gave me for the benefit of all.
She expects me to take care of the least of Her children.
She expects me to honor and respect the home She created for us.
She has no tolerance for meanness or prejudice, and she does not take kindly to bullying others or holding them back.
She expects me to stand up to tyranny and She gives me the courage to do that when I'm afraid.
And She gets really ticked off when I try to act superior to others, especially when I do it in Her name.
She has her way of letting me know when I'm not on the right track.
But rather than a thunder bolt or a flood or raining down fire and brimstone, she reminds me of who I am, and who She is and that I am here to honor Her.
Yes, sometimes she has to psychically slap me to get my attention, but she always follows up that little awakening with a cosmic hug and a gentle reminder that I'm still a human and I don't yet understand Her cosmic thinking.
I never fear Her and I never worry about what my fate will be when I'm done with this life, because She'll be there.
Sometimes I'm embarrassed to face Her, and I try to distract myself from having those conversations.
But that's all my crap.
She really doesn't judge me, She loves me.
Totally.
The only way I can disappoint her is to not do what she asks of us - to love Her and to love each other.
She has a remarkable capacity for my alpha-male, roguish behavior, as long as I never forget who's in charge.
Is God really a woman?Get serious.
Remember, we're are talking about God here!But, God is worth knowing on a personal, intimate level, no matter how challenging that task my be.
How you do that, how I do that, is a matter of our own choosing, as long as we do it.
Silly (or offensive) as it may seem to those who prefer the traditional bearded, Father-of-Abraham God, I am totally into this amazing Divine Mother.
I get a major charge out of being guided by her matriarchal love and wisdom.
I'm delighted to wonder what She wants of me and how I can fulfill on that.
I am a better man because I believe in Her.
After all, isn't that what really matters?