Okay ladies, let me ask you a question or two (even though I'm writing this for all those amazing women out there, a lot of this will apply to you awesome guys too), and the only thing I'm asking in return is an honest answer to the questions. If you had a close and loving relationship with a guy (or yes, a girl for you guys) who recently dumped you, do you still want to get back together with him? If you have a lot of emotional investment in that relationship, do you want to toss it away without any attempts to salvage what's been broken and reignite the flame? If you answered €yes€ to either of those questions then you do want to at least make an attempt to save your broken relationship. If that is the case, then keep reading, because here's some advice on how to win your ex back.

The very first thing you need to do from this point is to analyse your feelings. Ever heard the ancient saying, €A life unexamined is a life wasted.€ It applies to every situation in life, including breakups, as well. You need to discover if you still care deeply for your ex. The saddest thing about relationships is when we let our passionate excitement burn itself out and into a comfortable rut. You don't want to lose your ex because he's become the emotional equivalent of an old slipper to you. Of course we need comfort in a relationship, but the problem is that we forget that comfort alone doesn't make for a great relationship. A great love has to exist. If you've analysed your feelings and found that you still have passionate feelings for your old boyfriend (yes, guys, or girlfriend too), then you're probably ready to move on to the next step in the process of how to win your ex back.

And the next step is, are you ready for it? You have to examine how he feels about you. The good news is that if he has the same kind of passionate love for you that you still have for him, and that if the problems are something that can be worked on, like time management, goal awareness, communication, then you have a chance to win your ex back. Obviously though, if he is no longer in love with you or he hates your guts because you did something like cheating on him, then you've got deeper problems and it's time that you started to give serious consideration to how you're going to move on. Notice I said €how€ and not €if€. If either of those are the problem, it is time to abandon that particular hope so that both of you can get on with your lives.

Now back on to the path of positive possibilities. If you've been able to determine that this was truly a great love for the both of you then you can start to get the ball rolling and start on working to bring the two of you back together. It's time to think back to who you were when the two of you fell in love. Maybe you were a lot closer to your friends, or you might have been carrying less weight, or you were more optimistic in your outlook on life, or more active in your community. The point is that when you spend a lot of time with someone you begin to change. You end up spending less time with your friends or on your own activities as he begins to demand more of you and your time. Maybe you started to feel secure in his attentions and let yourself go in attitude and/or health. If you want to win him back, you need to go back to being the woman he fell in love with.

Another way to win your exboyfriend (okay guys, or girlfriend) back is to start practising detachment. Do not call him. Do not text him. Do not email him. Do not Facebook or Tweet him. Do not stalk him. If you do any of these things you will appear to him and everyone else to be desperate. You don't want to seem desperate. You want to appear to be the opposite of desperate. By seeming to detach and accept the situation, it will make you appear more desirable to him because of the perceived aloofness you're projecting. The other brilliant positive in practising detachment is that now you start to focus on what makes you happy. You can create this as an opportunity to reconnect with your friends and family, or to reconnect with yourself and work on your physical and emotional health. You can take up hobbies and pursue other things that interest you. You will, in doing this, become a more positive person in general and this all helps when you're trying to win back an ex.

Okay. So what do you do when you get together from time to time in a social situation? Play dirty. By that I mean that you need to use your past with him to your advantage. The way to do that, for example, is that if you have an outfit that he really loved to see you in, then wear it. If there was a restaurant where the two of you had a great time, mention to him that you were just there in the last week or two. Because you have so many positive experiences in you common history with your ex, you can use them a leverage to win him back. Just be subtle about it.

Once in a while invite him to non-committal sorts of events. You know the type, a group of friends meeting for drinks at a bar, or a group going to a movie, or a party. And tell him it's okay for him to bring a date.

Now the last thing I'm going to tell you if you want to win your ex back is, just be yourself. The fact is that either he's in love with you or he isn't. If he's not in love with you for who you are then let him go and get on with your life because he doesn't deserve you. You can't change who you are just so you can win your ex back. It doesn't work that way. You're already good enough, and if he doesn't see that, he doesn't deserve you. You can only be yourself (yes guys, you too). Good luck.