Dealing with loneliness as a single person can feel like a horrible journey.
You crave time with a partner, and it's easy to turn this into a fantasy of how, when you meet that person, you'll never feel lonely again.
The truth is though, that being in a couple doesn't mean you won't ever be lonely again.
In fact for the people who've felt lonely within a relationship, that is a worse feeling- you've got someone, but you are still suffering from feeling lonely.
Once we start to get into a cycle of loneliness it is easy to start to actually break ourselves off from being alongside others.
I know in the past, when I've experienced a wave of loneliness it's been tempting to hit the chocolate, the odd wine and mooch around at home, which of course is just going to further reduce my social interaction time.
I've definitely had times in the last three years where I have been lonely.
This is my method for dealing with it.
1.
Tell myself out loud I experienced those same feelings in a relationship too, and that isn't actually the issue 2.
Have a preset list of things I can do when the negative moments strike - that I can do alone.
These all include leaving the house but not necessarily involve meeting up with people.
Going to the gym, walking the beach, catching a movie alone, these all help me feel more connected 3.
Text a friend to see how they are- looking out can make you forget your own lonely feelings 4.
Accept any offers for social interaction 5.
Use online social networking sites and emails to connect with others 6.
Make home alone time a conscious choice rather than a "I'm here because no one loves me" moment.
Enjoy it- run a hot bubble bath and soak, read in bed all morning, do things that it's harder to negotiate as part of a couple.
In effect, enjoy the fact you are alone.
For me, the most important part of the whole "lonely moment" is that it isn't about our state of singleness.
It's an interior struggle to feel connected and loved.
The more we connect with ourselves, the less we'll feel it at all.