Out of Afri-Cat

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Cheaters.
I hate them.
Cheetahs, on the other hand, I love.
They're not quite as sexy as lions and tigers but to me they're the best big cat out there and Namibia is home to over a quarter of Africa's total.
Taken as a whole, the population of cheetahs is falling and is Africa's most endangered big cat, but Namibia's population is growing, significantly too.
This is in no small part to the good work done by the Africat Foundation, Cheetah Conservation Fund, N/a'an ku sĂȘ Foundation, HARNAS Wildlife Foundation and many more.
Saving the cheetah can be achieved through remarkably easy steps.
One of the most successful projects has been the introduction of guard dogs to protect herds of livestock.
Hundreds of Anatolian Kangals were imported from Turkey and handed out to farmers.
The dogs grow up with the herd from a puppy and if a cheetah, or other predator, comes near they bark them away, or fight to the death; and the herd knows to stick near to the dog when its barking.
The benefits are two fold: far less livestock get picked off by cheetahs so more food for humans, and farmers no longer feel the need to hunt the cheetahs to protect their herds.
This has led the cheetah population to increase by a third.
In fact, the project has been so successful that the initiative is now being exported to Kenya's Masai Mara reserve and the limiting factor in its success is the speed at which the Turkish suppliers can breed the dogs.
My wife and I were staying at a reserve run by a charity in central Namibia - a hostile environment for humans but perfect cheetah country.
The charity is a family-run, non-profit organisation set up to help protect the big cats of Namibia and here they have recently completed a project to enclose, with a 15ft electrified fence, 22,000 hectares of bush land, a huge undertaking.
Here, the cheetahs and other native wildlife can live without fear from human hunting.
That's not to say they're completely safe; the second biggest threat to cheetahs after humans is predation by leopards, and there are several known leopards also in the reserve.
But this is a natural threat and one that the cheetahs must ultimately learn to deal with.
Part of the work that the charity does is to take in cheetahs that have been injured and/or captured by local farmers and hunters.
If the cheetah involved is a female then there may well be cubs that need to be cared for.
The charity has the facilities and expertise to heal and rehabilitate these animals with a view to either releasing them in the area they were found or into their own vast enclosure.
It was just such a group of cheetahs that I had the good fortune to see up close on my visit.
They were just a couple of weeks from being released into the, at that point, unfinished reserve; and they were clearly as keen as anyone for this to happen.
A springbok wondering nearby had them up and trying to get through the fence, their hunting instinct undiminished by their time in captivity.
This was a very good sign, though, and good evidence that the formula employed is a successful one.
Wild warthogs merrily wondering around and a warning to stay away from the long grass at the boundary of the complex remind you that you are a guest in a wild place where you are not top dog.
Over a dozen leopards are known to frequent the area and a close encounter with these enchantingly beautiful animals is only recommended from the safety of a jeep.
One thing that always piqued my curiosity before going on safari was the notion that you were apparently completely safe if you are in a vehicle, and this seemed to be true.
Humans are very much in the size category of prey for big cats and yet a car full of them, with no doors to stop access, doesn't get the slightest response out of them.
A leopard can be sitting just yards away, well within pouncing distance, but people in vehicles just seem to be invisible.
Perhaps this is a deal they have struck with Africa's tourist industry: Don't eat the tourists! This phenomenon was highlighted when one of our guides had to get out of the vehicle for a minute to help shift us off of a mound we had got stuck on.
The second his foot touched the floor the leopard's full attention was on him, he was instantly a potential meal.
It was at this point I understood why the other guide had gotten a good high position on the vehicle and drawn his gun in preparation.
Fortunately we were freed and on our way quickly.
On our third and final day, having gone on several trips out into the reserve and been told repeatedly that, no matter what, never ever get out of the vehicle, the guide, who up until this point had seemed like a very sensible gentleman not prone to insanity, suggested that we go out and look for hyenas on foot.
We initially thought that this was a joke.
I mean, of course it was a joke.
Right? Wrong.
The plan, if you can call it that, was to find two male hyenas that were fitted with radio collars and approach them on foot for the last kilometre or so.
This would involve spending a good twenty odd minutes away from the fabled safety of the jeep, a terrifying yet highly exciting proposition.
We decided to go along with it, reasoning that if it was really all that dangerous then they wouldn't take us; so off we went.
On the drive out, with no apparent interest in calming nerves, they gave us the natural history of this most misunderstood of creatures.
So often portrayed as the baddie or a low life and bottom feeder the hyena is actually a proficient hunter getting the majority of its food from legitimate kills of its own as opposed to scavenging those of others.
This was not helping.
Still, it wasn't really the hyenas I was worried about.
Hyenas are many things but stealthy is not one of them.
You would know if a hyena was hunting you and I felt like I at least had half a chance of outrunning it as far as the vehicle.
What worried me was the leopard that you wouldn't know was there until your neck was firmly locked in its jaws.
At least it would be a quick ending.
I am eternally pleased to report that all, of course, went well.
After some nervous tracking we managed to get within about 60 yards of the two hyenas, which was plenty close enough when you're on foot.
Although these were not animals that had excited me much in the past, this proved to be one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life; much like skydiving, when you entirely put your trust, and life, into equipment and the experience of those around you.
I highly recommend it.
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