Dealing with Postpartum Emotions
Listen. The most important thing a dad can do to help a wife who is struggling with postpartum emotions is to sit and listen. Be tender and supportive through this transition.
Help whenever you can. Your partner will likely need lots of sleep; and at this stage she will get as much as you can provide her. Take the baby so she can sleep. Offer to change, dress or bathe the baby.
Identify a support group.
There are postpartum support groups in most major cities. You can find a geographic listing at Postpartum Support International. This will help your partner find someone to talk to who has been there, and you can also connect with dads who have been through the postpartum experience.
Encourage her to get medical help. An evaluation of her postpartum condition is important, particularly if you think she is seriously depressed. Call and make an appointment with her OB-GYN or family doctor. Your regular doctor may make a referral to a specialist and your partner may not want to go talk to a stranger. Gently help her get used to the idea and take her to the appointment.
Go with her to the doctor. She will appreciate the help getting to the office with the baby. In addition, you can communicate with the doctor and hear first hand what he or she suggests to deal with the issue. She may not be in much of a state to tell the doctor everything he or she will need to know, and she may not remember everything he or she tells her.
Help her get on a simple schedule. Mental health professionals suggest helping mom get into a simple routine with a few easy tasks every day on a schedule. A little bit of structure goes a long way.
Don't take it personally. Because you are convenient (or maybe because you aren't) you'll likely be the recipient of some criticism about what you do or don't do. Don't take it too personally; remember that much of what she says and thinks just comes out without thinking much about it. Let it roll off.
Be prepared for a long process. Postpartum depression is not an easily or quickly solved experience. Hang in there through the recovery and healing processes. It is hard, but there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, and your sensitive and patient help will be appreciated by your partner and your child.
Help whenever you can. Your partner will likely need lots of sleep; and at this stage she will get as much as you can provide her. Take the baby so she can sleep. Offer to change, dress or bathe the baby.
Identify a support group.
There are postpartum support groups in most major cities. You can find a geographic listing at Postpartum Support International. This will help your partner find someone to talk to who has been there, and you can also connect with dads who have been through the postpartum experience.
Encourage her to get medical help. An evaluation of her postpartum condition is important, particularly if you think she is seriously depressed. Call and make an appointment with her OB-GYN or family doctor. Your regular doctor may make a referral to a specialist and your partner may not want to go talk to a stranger. Gently help her get used to the idea and take her to the appointment.
Go with her to the doctor. She will appreciate the help getting to the office with the baby. In addition, you can communicate with the doctor and hear first hand what he or she suggests to deal with the issue. She may not be in much of a state to tell the doctor everything he or she will need to know, and she may not remember everything he or she tells her.
Help her get on a simple schedule. Mental health professionals suggest helping mom get into a simple routine with a few easy tasks every day on a schedule. A little bit of structure goes a long way.
Don't take it personally. Because you are convenient (or maybe because you aren't) you'll likely be the recipient of some criticism about what you do or don't do. Don't take it too personally; remember that much of what she says and thinks just comes out without thinking much about it. Let it roll off.
Be prepared for a long process. Postpartum depression is not an easily or quickly solved experience. Hang in there through the recovery and healing processes. It is hard, but there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, and your sensitive and patient help will be appreciated by your partner and your child.
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