The Best Way to Stop Being a Victim
Some people seem to have a victim mentality.
They behave as though they are not worthy of respect or consideration because they are not as good as other people.
They may perceive others as being more intelligent, more accomplished, richer or having a better lifestyle and so they judge themselves to be a failure.
Our mindset and patterns of behaviour are often established early in childhood.
We automatically look to our parents as our role models and their attitudes towards education, money, relationships, work, success, independence will all be absorbed by us.
We look to our parents for recognition, praise and attention and if it not forthcoming we will often try to be noticed in other ways.
If we feel that we are not as good as our siblings, are perhaps regarded as having less potential than them, it can become a de-motivational environment in which to grow.
What is the point in trying if we never achieve anything good, if others are seen to be better than us, if we are constantly criticised? Often a victim will provide a catalogue of reasons to justify their misfortunes.
Parents divorced, the family business collapsed, school was awful, there will usually be a list of terrible reasons to explain their unfortunate situation.
In many cases, life is about perspective.
A person with children may envy a single friend for their money and freedom.
But their single friend may regret that there are no children in their life.
Often another people's situation can be viewed in many different ways.
Feeling that we have failed, are less of a person because we do not have what others have is a disappointing way to view our own lives which cannot be rectified simply by hoping things will improve.
Let's look at the best way to stop being a victim: - Appreciate that we all try to please others in some way.
It is human nature to want recognition and to be accepted and rewarded for good behaviour.
Whether it be from a parent, a lover, a boss, a client, there are times when we all want appreciation and praise.
If it is not forthcoming we can either become disillusioned and give up or review the way we feel and choose to motivate ourselves.
Understanding that for some people being negative and critical is a way of life can help.
It is their problem and has nothing to do with us.
- We have to take responsibility and learn to find recognition in other ways or in other areas of our lives.
Start by surrounding ourselves with positive people, people who appreciate us and our skills.
Do something that we know we're good at and work on building our confidence in this way.
- Turn a negative experience into a positive one.
Often the way we interpret setbacks has an important bearing on our approach to life.
Seeing the end of a relationship as an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, a time to learn about becoming more independent, to spend more time with friends and do what we want, time to discover what we don't want from a partner in the future can all bring an important shift in perspective.
We can apply that template to many others areas in life.
- Start becoming more aware of the good in life.
Many people with a victim mentality instantly notice bad things that other, more positive people may not even see.
They may see people laughing and chatting as confirmation that they are being ridiculed.
But even little things, like the fact that there is no milk in the supermarket, someone not returning a text message or failing to respond to a call would all serve to confirm in the victim's mind their feeling of being unfortunate, rejected or unwanted.
- Counselling and hypnotherapy are a good combination with which to work on healing and transforming old unwanted mindsets and patterns of behaviour.
They work on letting go of early experiences of negative conditioning and help to improve confidence, self-esteem and assertiveness.
Working on addressing the underlying negative patterns and programming can enable us to have a healthier, more realistic view on life.
Taking better control of our responses often means that setbacks are interpreted in a less personal and more balanced way.
And then we become more positive about life and start to notice that fewer negative events occur.
They behave as though they are not worthy of respect or consideration because they are not as good as other people.
They may perceive others as being more intelligent, more accomplished, richer or having a better lifestyle and so they judge themselves to be a failure.
Our mindset and patterns of behaviour are often established early in childhood.
We automatically look to our parents as our role models and their attitudes towards education, money, relationships, work, success, independence will all be absorbed by us.
We look to our parents for recognition, praise and attention and if it not forthcoming we will often try to be noticed in other ways.
If we feel that we are not as good as our siblings, are perhaps regarded as having less potential than them, it can become a de-motivational environment in which to grow.
What is the point in trying if we never achieve anything good, if others are seen to be better than us, if we are constantly criticised? Often a victim will provide a catalogue of reasons to justify their misfortunes.
Parents divorced, the family business collapsed, school was awful, there will usually be a list of terrible reasons to explain their unfortunate situation.
In many cases, life is about perspective.
A person with children may envy a single friend for their money and freedom.
But their single friend may regret that there are no children in their life.
Often another people's situation can be viewed in many different ways.
Feeling that we have failed, are less of a person because we do not have what others have is a disappointing way to view our own lives which cannot be rectified simply by hoping things will improve.
Let's look at the best way to stop being a victim: - Appreciate that we all try to please others in some way.
It is human nature to want recognition and to be accepted and rewarded for good behaviour.
Whether it be from a parent, a lover, a boss, a client, there are times when we all want appreciation and praise.
If it is not forthcoming we can either become disillusioned and give up or review the way we feel and choose to motivate ourselves.
Understanding that for some people being negative and critical is a way of life can help.
It is their problem and has nothing to do with us.
- We have to take responsibility and learn to find recognition in other ways or in other areas of our lives.
Start by surrounding ourselves with positive people, people who appreciate us and our skills.
Do something that we know we're good at and work on building our confidence in this way.
- Turn a negative experience into a positive one.
Often the way we interpret setbacks has an important bearing on our approach to life.
Seeing the end of a relationship as an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, a time to learn about becoming more independent, to spend more time with friends and do what we want, time to discover what we don't want from a partner in the future can all bring an important shift in perspective.
We can apply that template to many others areas in life.
- Start becoming more aware of the good in life.
Many people with a victim mentality instantly notice bad things that other, more positive people may not even see.
They may see people laughing and chatting as confirmation that they are being ridiculed.
But even little things, like the fact that there is no milk in the supermarket, someone not returning a text message or failing to respond to a call would all serve to confirm in the victim's mind their feeling of being unfortunate, rejected or unwanted.
- Counselling and hypnotherapy are a good combination with which to work on healing and transforming old unwanted mindsets and patterns of behaviour.
They work on letting go of early experiences of negative conditioning and help to improve confidence, self-esteem and assertiveness.
Working on addressing the underlying negative patterns and programming can enable us to have a healthier, more realistic view on life.
Taking better control of our responses often means that setbacks are interpreted in a less personal and more balanced way.
And then we become more positive about life and start to notice that fewer negative events occur.
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