When dissatisfaction arises, it is our usual reaction to want to change something or, as is often the case, change someone, in order to find peace within once again.
We think in order to feel contentment we must have everything, and particularly everyone, conform to some inner idea we ourselves hold of how it should be.
With this mindset, it becomes imperative to put a great deal of energy into making ourselves more comfortable so we may become peaceful.
In order to feel OK about ourselves we feel the need to compete on an equal, or preferably a better social footing.
This usually involves having more; more of whatever it takes.
We hear about the latest in household gadgetry and rush out to buy it.
Retail therapy may even involve expensive jewelery, cars, and houses.
"More", in fact, becomes a never-ending struggle.
Comfort also extends to our relationships.
When one's partner acts in ways we disapprove of or "makes us angry" we try to change them in order to feel better.
Despite the fact that this is rarely successful and more often than not counter-effective, we can persist for years, even a whole lifetime.
It takes a lot of energy and creates resentment, stubborn resistance and verbal, even physical violence.
Amid this chaos, it is difficult to remind ourselves that others cannot actually "make" us angry.
Anger is our chosen or, more often than not, our unconscious, habitual way of reacting to certain stimuli.
Somehow we have instilled in our brains that in order for us to find peace we need to oppose, to fight.
If we hold an opinion, it becomes imperative that our partner hold the same point of view.
When they react emotionally to something we say, we make them wrong.
It seems vital that we tell the other the way it is, as if our view were Right and written in stone instead of an opinion arising from our own experience and conditioning.
Rather than listening with an open heart, we oppose and close our hearts and our minds.
The Loving Fathers, on several occasions found it necessary to chide me gently when I complained about the way others treated me or found another's behavior unfair or downright unjust.
Naturally I had felt I needed to give the other the benefit of my own beliefs to set them straight.
The Loving Fathers, of course, had other ideas; "You reveal the truths by living them.
Changes occur by an exchange in energy field.
This is Divine energy which must be transmuted by man and woman into their very being, so that they become that energy.
This is the only way change occurs.
You are more effective by drawing out the truth of their being, than by indoctrinating them with your "wisdom ".
When you share the wonder of your own growth with others there is a different vibratory level from the times you preach at them; one is an opening, the other a closing.
" Even though I had felt at the time quite sure the other had been "wrong" and that they needed to be pulled up for their own good, I was reminded that the evolution of others is literally none of my business.
Our business is to become a conduit for Divine energy by aligning with God or Source in the Love Space.
By actually living our truth we carry with us a transformative energy around which others are motivated to change and grow.
So rather than tell them where they are going wrong or being tempted to blame or criticize, our role is to see the other as their true Selves.
I must admit I feel more motivated to be as wonderful as someone wonderful believes me to be.
Around critical people or ones who "preach", I tend to shut down and dig in.
Love has indeed a different vibration, one more powerful than most of us have given it credit for.
We only need to practice it and the truth of Love's power astounds us.
In the future, why not make your modus operandi a new way of giving - a giving from the fullness of your being, of giving because you cannot help but give.
Do you perceive the difference? This stance will ensure that while you give, you create a natural flow which draws Spirit unrestrictedly to you.
This is the meaning of being a conduit for the Divine.
When we consciously stay in the Love Space we become infused with Spirit and it is this vibration that flows out to all we see, perceive and react with.
From this perspective the small self perceptions and reactions become obsolete and we have a different relationship with all that is.
Best wishes for your journey to inner peace! Sandra (Sandi) Hodgkinson B.
A.
(Syd), Dip.
Educ.
(Aus), Dip Trans.
Psych.
(Aus), Dip.
Int.
Hyp.
(US)