Some We Get Along With and Others We Let Go On Their Way
Recently, a member of my family wrote me an email and stated that she felt we were very different and our energies didn't "mesh." She said that after family affairs were no longer necessary she did not want me in her life. This hit me like a crushing blow and landed in my heart with a thud. I watched myself objectively - from a place of neutrality - as the emotional bomb hit and sank in. I expected tears and remorse to follow. But, interestingly there were none.
After all, I'd tried so hard to get along with her. I forgave insults and purposely praised her. I did my best to support her. I'd struggled to be close to her throughout my entire life. I told her I loved her. I invited her to do things with me. Yet, all of my efforts seemed to be met with indifference, a cold shoulder, a subtle disdain and occasionally blatant, direct, ballistic anger. And now this. A final statement of "I don't want you in my life."
I watched the understanding of what she'd said sink in and felt the impact. I took a breath then felt... relief. Yes, relief. To my surprise my heart flew away - away from her. I was free. I didn't have to try anymore. I could now let her go. I then realized how much of me I'd wasted over the years. How much energy and time had I invested in this dead end relationship? Family or not, it wasn't working. What seemed to be a devastating blow was an unshackling. She'd given me a gift of freedom.
How often do I give my energy and time to those who give little back, or even worse, throw it away? How many others would have benefited from my love and friendship over the years, while I continually gave it to people who never wanted it. What a waste of me.
Sometimes the seemingly worst insults are our most precious gifts. The rejection of another is a clear sign that we need to go elsewhere. And, isn't it nice that we got the sign so we don't have to waste any more time moving in that direction. After all, there are so many people that we all connect with - who need us and rejoice that we're a part of their lives. My sincerest apologies to those I've ignored while trying to please those who didn't want me. I vow to be there wholeheartedly for you now.
After all, I'd tried so hard to get along with her. I forgave insults and purposely praised her. I did my best to support her. I'd struggled to be close to her throughout my entire life. I told her I loved her. I invited her to do things with me. Yet, all of my efforts seemed to be met with indifference, a cold shoulder, a subtle disdain and occasionally blatant, direct, ballistic anger. And now this. A final statement of "I don't want you in my life."
I watched the understanding of what she'd said sink in and felt the impact. I took a breath then felt... relief. Yes, relief. To my surprise my heart flew away - away from her. I was free. I didn't have to try anymore. I could now let her go. I then realized how much of me I'd wasted over the years. How much energy and time had I invested in this dead end relationship? Family or not, it wasn't working. What seemed to be a devastating blow was an unshackling. She'd given me a gift of freedom.
How often do I give my energy and time to those who give little back, or even worse, throw it away? How many others would have benefited from my love and friendship over the years, while I continually gave it to people who never wanted it. What a waste of me.
Sometimes the seemingly worst insults are our most precious gifts. The rejection of another is a clear sign that we need to go elsewhere. And, isn't it nice that we got the sign so we don't have to waste any more time moving in that direction. After all, there are so many people that we all connect with - who need us and rejoice that we're a part of their lives. My sincerest apologies to those I've ignored while trying to please those who didn't want me. I vow to be there wholeheartedly for you now.
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