1) Get some space Don't try to be a hero and 'be there' every minute.
There is really no sense in knackering both you and your partner out.
This 'divide and conquer' theory works great in theory but for some reasons most couples feel the need to experience the pain together - all the time! Try sloping away (for a few minutes, hours, or ideally days).
Just remember though it's not 1950, so you may be called upon to reciprocate at some point! (Best keep your Mum's phone number on speed dial for these occasions;-) 2) Treats Don't forget the treats.
Keeping your focus on a nice big glass (no, not a bottle!) of quality red wine, G&T, single malt - whatever - can really get you through some rough patches during the day.
Just remember to stay in control.
You won't be much use to anyone if you're quaffing 3 large vodkas & OJ before breakfast each morning! 3) Retreat to base ...
otherwise known as 'the spare room'.
Once in a while a good solid uninterrupted nights sleep is all it takes.
It can work wonders on the mind and body and see you though the next few days with a spring in your step (well for the first few hours anyway!).
This is especially useful if you getting up early everyday for a stressful day at work.
4) Master the Sky+ (or equivalent).
This is more of a 'damage limitation' tip really.
ie if you must be up at 3am for an hour at least try to use the time constructively.
As we all know, men are great at multi-tasking (ahem) so there is no reason why you can't wind the baby can watch an episode of Mad Men or The Wire at the same time.
For the slightly more ambitious / dexterous, texting, emailing, or tweeting while on baby duty could also be an option (ahhh the wonders of smartphones!).
Probably best to leave preparing that Powerpoint presentation for the Board until another time though.
5) Positive thinking and mind control.
The 'problem' with most situations is not so much the events themselves, but rather how you perceive them and react to them.
Do whatever you need to, to cultivate a strong positive mental attitude (music, meditation, determination, books - whatever).
See your problems in the context of time and the greater issues of the world.
(eg, even if it seems bad getting up at 3am be grateful that you are not a Chilean miner (for example) stuck under 1km of solid rock in a dark room with 30 other blokes for a month with no roast dinners or red wine! -see doesn't seem so bad now does it!).
6) Don't fall into self-pity or despair.
Talk openly to your partner and your friends, or get some comments off your chest online (blogs, twitter etc), if you're the 'strong silent' type.
Just sharing your experience can be cathartic in itself.
It will be tough (oh sorry, didn't they tell you?) for the first few months in particular.
Accept that.
Take it on the chin and just 'get on with it'.
7) Accept that your life has changed forever Oh yes it has! Casanova, your clubbin days are ova' as the song says! You will spend your time and money on VERY different things for the next 20 years than what you are used to up until now.
Life is a process of change anyway.
Those that embrace and manage it will always get more from life and have more positive energy.
Don't worry the world isn't out to get you...
it just seems that way! 8) Be (very) considerate of your partner.
Tough as it seems to you, the likelihood is that your partner is even more on the front line (unless you are a very modern man!).
Don't get into petty arguments (if you are wrong admit it, if you are right shut the **** up!).
It's not about being 'right' anyway.
It's ultimately about creating a loving environment for you your partner and your children.
9) Take the long view Things never seems as bad in the rear view mirror.
We all like to moan, and exchange various tales of woe and hardship from our past - some even revel in it (I'm think Frank McCourt & Angela's Ashes here for example!).
Try to take the positive from each stage.
Remember you (or your baby) will never being coming back this way again, so take pleasure in the little things and look forward to a life to love and learning together.
Anyway, you need some lows to enjoy the highs all the better! 10 ) Finally...
Remember what a privilege you have been given.
EVERYONE is effected greatly by their Mum and Dad.
Try to remember what an enormous privilege you have been given to actively shape your son or daughter's personality, and ultimately their future.
Note, this is not an opportunity to try to create a 'mini-me' and relive your life - but without all the mistakes! For sure point out the pitfalls - try to improve on what you learned (or didn't!) from your parents but also try to refrain from having too fixed an idea of what you want your offspring to turn out like.
Bringing a child into the world is the one thing that will give you most satisfaction on your death-bed (more than making millions, having the latest iPhone, or holding the tequilla record at Sergios Beach Shack).
It a very real and tangible contribution to the human race, and comforting to know some little part of you will continue on after you have departed! Hang in there my friends...
Apparently it is all worth it in the end! Little Sardines