What does it mean to you to be vulnerable? In order to answer this question, you need to explore every area of your life.
For instance, physical vulnerability could include such things as pulling off on the side of the road, alone, to fix a flat in the middle of the night, or the feet-in-stirrups position you assume while you get your annual exam.
Financial vulnerability could mean relying exclusively on your partner's income, or quitting your job to become an entrepreneur.
Emotional vulnerability could mean giving birth to a child and accepting the role of motherhood, or opening up and sharing a deep secret with someone.
Vulnerability opens the door to connection.
If you think of yourself as a house, some people will never get past the front door.
Others you will allow to come all the way into the kitchen, and one or two may have access to the entire structure.
It is risky to be vulnerable.
There are no guarantees that things will work out for the best.
Being vulnerable means we lower our guard, drop our protection, expose our belly, so to speak.
And that can have devastating results.
Yet not opening up can create our own personal prison, which can lead to an unfulfilled life of loneliness, fear, and bitterness.
Here are two helpful tools you can use to protect yourself while being vulnerable.
First, be wise.
Prudent.
Discerning.
It is not necessary, for example, to share your soul with someone who has not earned that privilege, someone who has demonstrated that he or she is not trustworthy or respectful.
Wisdom also includes taking sage precautions against potential disasters in every area of life, such as self-defense and financial management courses.
Wisdom means knowing whom to allow into your house, and setting limits on how far they can explore.
Second, be strong and resilient.
To change analogies, think of a suit of armor.
Many times, life circumstances have resulted in our donning a suit of armor that is all but impenetrable.
That keeps out the arrows, but also keeps out the love.
So think about slowly moving that protective shell from the outside, where it protects the soft core, to the inside, where it becomes an indestructible core of steel.
At the same time, start slowly moving your soft core to the outside, where it will elicit human connection.
If you have a core of steel, then you can risk receiving a painful flesh wound because you know it will not destroy you.
So go ahead and allow yourself to be wisely vulnerable.
To take judicious risks.
To know when to hold up a shield or keep someone on the front porch, and when to open up.