Christmas is right on top of us folks.
I know, from personal experience, that this time of year can be an emotional time for many of us birth mothers.
We invariably remember 'that Christmas'.
Perhaps it's 'that' Christmas during 'that' pregnancy.
Or perhaps 'that' Christmas right after 'that' birth.
For those of us who have had a reunion with our child, this Christmas will much easier.
I've asked myself why and I came up with a couple of obvious, and a few not so obvious, reasons.
First, of course, we are relieved to find our child is alive and well - hopefully - although even otherwise would be better than the not knowing.
Secondly, we have needed, to hold this child of ours and tell him/her that we love them, ever since..
..
...
And now we have.
I remember after that first meeting, my daughter walked out of my house and, as I watched her disappear off the deck, I found myself smiling through tears, thinking, 'Now I can die.
' That was not a morbid thought.
It was just that I had been holding my breath all these years with this 'unfinished business' that I had to do before I could leave this earth..
..
Then of course there were some less obvious reliefs.
All those things I had wondered about: her height, eye color, personality type, intelligence, health..
..
...
In what ways did she take after me? In what ways did she take after her biological father? How had her personality been affected by her adoptive family? So this posting is not to tell you all about the answers I found.
Rather, this posting is to offer suggestions to birth mothers who have not yet been reunited with their birth child.
Here is a list of things I think you should write down (perhaps in letter form).
First: Tell your child how much you love them.
Tell them why you surrendered them for adoption.
Next tell your child how you expect they are.
(ie.
Do you suspect they have brown eyes like their B.
father? Or asthma, like you? Or high IQ like both B.
parents? Or wear eye glasses for near sightedness, like you?) As you write this, you will begin to get a visual of your child--just a probable visual--not necessarily an accurate one in its entirety--but it should be close.
And don't forget to include the adoptive family in this letter.
Tell your child what you expect their adoptive family to be like, and his/her relationship with them.
Tell your child what you hoped/prayed for in this adoptive family.
Birth mothers, who have not reunited with your child yet, do this, please.
You will be amazed how much easier your Christmas will be this year.
Oh, and save this until you do find your child.
Then check it out.
See how close you were.
I bet you'll be amazed! I'll bet your child will want to see this too.
God bless you all, my sisters.
And may this Christmas be your merriest yet, since 'that Christmas'.