Win Your Divorce - But Don"t Win Too Big
Your lawyer should not revel in a court victory, which, in the long run, does not serve the interest of the client and the children.
The lawyers role is to understand that those emotions underpin much bad decision-making and inappropriate conduct on the part of my client, the opposing client, and adverse counsel.
I cannot allow myself or my law practice to enable conduct that results in a bad result for my client or for my client's children.
Lawyers suffer from their competitive flaws and always want to win.
An uncollectable win due to a dead payer spouse merely leaves the payee spouse with a bill for legal fees from my brilliant yet empty victory.
This is a bizarre truth about divorce lawyering put succinctly by a super divorce lawyer, "You never want to win too big - you will always be back in court.
" Regrettably, far too few lawyers get this subtle point and very few clients understand how a huge early victory can doom the case to lengthy litigation rather than an efficient resolution.
If your spouse is mentally unstable to start, use the litigation process only as a last resort.
The Angry Divorce-Less extreme than suicide and mental illness is the angry divorce, which starts off with a temporary support order deemed by the payer (and secretly by both lawyers) as too high.
The payer spouse blames the wife, her attorney, his attorney, the judge and rest of the world for the back-breaking support award.
The supported spouse, the wife, believes she has simply been understood by the judge and that she is right.
The husband is wrong, as is his lawyer and the rest of the world, and now her lawyer has to convince her to take less support and move out of the marital home in order to settle the case.
Neither is likely to take their own life, but an otherwise settle able case can be forced toward trial due to a misplaced win.
The case will not create the mental illness, drug addiction, or suicidal ideation.
Focusing your divorce on avoiding process anger, exercising self-determination, and achieving net dollars will minimize the impact of mental problems.
The mental problems will flare - how you approach your divorce will either fan the flames or lower the heat to a mild simmer.
The lawyers role is to understand that those emotions underpin much bad decision-making and inappropriate conduct on the part of my client, the opposing client, and adverse counsel.
I cannot allow myself or my law practice to enable conduct that results in a bad result for my client or for my client's children.
Lawyers suffer from their competitive flaws and always want to win.
An uncollectable win due to a dead payer spouse merely leaves the payee spouse with a bill for legal fees from my brilliant yet empty victory.
This is a bizarre truth about divorce lawyering put succinctly by a super divorce lawyer, "You never want to win too big - you will always be back in court.
" Regrettably, far too few lawyers get this subtle point and very few clients understand how a huge early victory can doom the case to lengthy litigation rather than an efficient resolution.
If your spouse is mentally unstable to start, use the litigation process only as a last resort.
The Angry Divorce-Less extreme than suicide and mental illness is the angry divorce, which starts off with a temporary support order deemed by the payer (and secretly by both lawyers) as too high.
The payer spouse blames the wife, her attorney, his attorney, the judge and rest of the world for the back-breaking support award.
The supported spouse, the wife, believes she has simply been understood by the judge and that she is right.
The husband is wrong, as is his lawyer and the rest of the world, and now her lawyer has to convince her to take less support and move out of the marital home in order to settle the case.
Neither is likely to take their own life, but an otherwise settle able case can be forced toward trial due to a misplaced win.
The case will not create the mental illness, drug addiction, or suicidal ideation.
Focusing your divorce on avoiding process anger, exercising self-determination, and achieving net dollars will minimize the impact of mental problems.
The mental problems will flare - how you approach your divorce will either fan the flames or lower the heat to a mild simmer.
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