How to Deal With Custody Issues
Do you share custody of your child with an ex? If you're always fighting over custody issues, when you see your child and when you don't, learn what the real issues are and stop the fighting.
1.
What are you really fighting about? It is usually NOT about your children.
Remember, you are divorced.
Behave differently than when you were married.
You do not have to agree on everything - your child will benefit.
On the days you have custody, you make the decisions.
Change your behavior.
Set boundaries and time limits.
1.
What are you really fighting about? It is usually NOT about your children.
- Get real.
This has nothing to do with the children and all to do with you. - The truth is you both want what is best for the children so if this was really about the children you wouldn't have an issue.
- Remember, although it is difficult at times, there is no one in the world who loves your child, like you do, as much as your ex.
Remember, you are divorced.
Behave differently than when you were married.
- If you do the same nonsense as you did when you were married, you should have stayed married.
- You are divorced for a reason.
This means you do not see things the same and you are going to have to negotiate something that works for both of you.
You do not have to agree on everything - your child will benefit.
- Maybe there's such a thing as good stuff coming out of divorce.
- Can you celebrate the differences between you two so your child can get the best of both worlds, or is this going to be an ego battle to the end?
On the days you have custody, you make the decisions.
- And on the days your ex has custody, he gets to make the decisions.
- You are not going to agree on all decisions and that is okay.
Respect the other's time with your child - this is in the child's best interest.
Change your behavior.
Set boundaries and time limits.
- Take responsibility for the fighting and refuse to participate in anything that makes you defensive and angry.
You know your rights; make sure you get them. - Get good legal help if you need it.
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