To be understood is one of the great needs of humans everywhere.
It is amplified in our marriage because we spend much of our time in this relationship that is of the highest importance.
It is frustrating when our spouse doesn't get us.
Let me give you some important strategies in helping you to overcome this problem and make some headway in your marriage.
First, we are going to really think and formulate what we want to say.
Half of the time our words just come out in a random fashion as we say whatever comes to mind first.
Stop and think about your words.
What's really on your heart and mind? What words will communicate those thoughts best? Toss out abusive or inflammatory words.
Just focus on what you really want to say.
Next, think about how your spouse will interpret your words.
If you have said things one way over and over think of a new way to say it so that your spouse has to think about what you're saying.
A fresh expression causes people to perk up their ears because it's not the same old stuff again.
A new tone in your voice will have the same effect.
Not necessarily is an extreme tone the answer, but a different one will help.
Lastly, and most important, is the method of reflective speaking.
Reflective speaking means that you are going to invite your spouse to "reflect" back to you what they think you are saying to them.
In the middle of sharing your thoughts you can simply ask a question like, "What do you think I'm trying to say?" By asking about what they are hearing you'll get a picture of what your words mean to them.
If your spouse's interpretation isn't what you meant to say then try to say it again in a different way.