The C-word or committing to a relationship implies the end of freedom for most men. Live-in relationships are on the rise these days and both men and women are deferring marriage. Yet, most men prefer to have light relationships rather than commit to just one. Just why are men so afraid of commitment? We explores the reasons...

Freedom's the word

Men want to be free and for most of them, having a steady relationship means giving up that precious freedom. Explains Dan Nicholas, a marketing executive, "We men are extremely independent by nature. We like to make our own decisions and run our lives according to our own rules. We want to do what we want and when we want.

But, when a woman enters the picture, all the choices a guy used to take for granted - like hanging out with his friends or watching his favourite programs are gone." Adds Caroline Howard, a MNC executive, "Men are scared of taking family and financial responsibility. Moreover, with changes in the lifestyle since the new economic policies, the younger generation wants to enjoy life, without getting into a serious relationship.

There is yet another apprehension men have - is she the right person to marry? What men want is a girl friend with whom he can go to pub and discotheque and not a behenji whom he has to marry.

The younger generation is not interested in a long-term relationship." Men also want to be free to find that perfect woman and that makes them ready to flit from one relationship to another. Explains Mike Jonson, a sales executive, "Men are often not satisfied with their partner. They want to explore the field and see if there is any other woman, who is better than the previous one and more suitable for them." Career is often another reason with many men wanting to be financially secure before committing to someone.

According to software engineer Nick Trevor, "These days, there are fewer societal pressures to marry and we can weigh our options instead of just jumping directly from school into marriage. We can afford to wait for that perfect woman while we concentrate on getting our careers off the ground, save to buy a house, or actively play the field." Adds Tony Mckenzie, IT consultant, "Guys look for financial security before they commit, because love alone cannot feed the stomach. So, most guys want to have a heavy bank account and enjoy life, before settling down."

Emotional baggage

There are also men who have been in a serious relationship and been burned in it. Now, they want to take it easy instead. So, for Jim Morris, "After my break-up, I want to just enjoy life. I am ready to wait and see if I find someone I really like, before making that decision." For a lot of women, commitment is the finish line for their adult lives. But, that also leads to the man feeling pressured and hesitant to commit. Explains, Dennis Becker, a graphic designer, "When a woman starts saying things like 'when are we going steady', it makes me nervous. Why can't we take things slow? I feel pressure from women really scares men and that makes them leave." Sums up DU student, Monica Lenski, "For men, commitment means being emotionally dependent on the woman for her approval. That's why they avoid it."

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You've been seing a man who loves you, whether he uses the word or not. He loves being with you. Even so, he hasn't commited himself to you fully. Here you can find some easy tips to get a man to commit.