How to Save a Marriage - You Hold the Answer
With fifty one per cent of all marriages ending in divorce today the question that should be being asked by all couples is how to save a marriage? How do over half of the couples that say "I do" end up saying "we can't" when at some point in their lives they promised to stay together for as long as they lived? In a marriage you do not go to bed one night with a good one and wake up the next morning with a failed one.
It has been worked up to slowly and only got there because both parties ignored the signs of the approach.
If in real estate it is location, location, location; in a relationship it is communication, communication, communication.
It is not the quantity of what you communicate but the quality.
Even if you partner is yelling at you in anger and upset they are communicating something.
If nothing else you should be real clear that they are angry and upset and it is now your job to open the lines of communication so that you can both get to the cause of the upset.
Questions about feelings rather than statements about blame will take you a giant step forward in how to save a marriage.
With practice you can learn to share the feelings without having to get to the anger and upset stages.
The best tip on how to save a marriage is to be responsible.
Marriage is not a fifty-fifty proposition with each partner taking fifty per cent of the responsibility.
If you want your marriage to work you need to take one hundred per cent of it.
If your vows stated for better or for worse the worse part will be approached when your mate is taking no responsibility.
That is when you get to shoulder it all.
And before you get on your high horse there will be just as many times when you abrogate your responsibilities and your spouse will be picking up the slack.
Just do not try to keep score.
Realize that you want your marriage to work and you get to make it do that.
When you entered your marriage you did so because you wanted it to work.
You made a commitment to yourself and to your spouse to make it work.
On a daily basis remind yourself what those commitments were and ask what you are doing to live up to them.
Do not worry if your spouse is not.
Your living up for them will create a loving space that will make it safe for them to get in touch with why they married you.
When you have created that space you will no longer have to ask how to save a marriage because you will know you have the answer.
It has been worked up to slowly and only got there because both parties ignored the signs of the approach.
If in real estate it is location, location, location; in a relationship it is communication, communication, communication.
It is not the quantity of what you communicate but the quality.
Even if you partner is yelling at you in anger and upset they are communicating something.
If nothing else you should be real clear that they are angry and upset and it is now your job to open the lines of communication so that you can both get to the cause of the upset.
Questions about feelings rather than statements about blame will take you a giant step forward in how to save a marriage.
With practice you can learn to share the feelings without having to get to the anger and upset stages.
The best tip on how to save a marriage is to be responsible.
Marriage is not a fifty-fifty proposition with each partner taking fifty per cent of the responsibility.
If you want your marriage to work you need to take one hundred per cent of it.
If your vows stated for better or for worse the worse part will be approached when your mate is taking no responsibility.
That is when you get to shoulder it all.
And before you get on your high horse there will be just as many times when you abrogate your responsibilities and your spouse will be picking up the slack.
Just do not try to keep score.
Realize that you want your marriage to work and you get to make it do that.
When you entered your marriage you did so because you wanted it to work.
You made a commitment to yourself and to your spouse to make it work.
On a daily basis remind yourself what those commitments were and ask what you are doing to live up to them.
Do not worry if your spouse is not.
Your living up for them will create a loving space that will make it safe for them to get in touch with why they married you.
When you have created that space you will no longer have to ask how to save a marriage because you will know you have the answer.
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