There is usually a lot of anxiety on the part of the spouse who has just found out that their partner is really struggling with their relationship and there are lots of unanswered questions as well.
What is happening? Will my marriage carry on? Let me just say that if a couple is having problems, they need to do whatever it takes to save marriage particularly if they have kids.
There are two things you need to know right off the top.
-There is no such thing as the perfect marriage.
-And an essential factor in being successful at saving your marriage is knowing you can succeed.
However, you also need to know that being able to restore your marriage to health and happiness will take time and effort.
There are several things that a relationship needs to stay healthy and happy.
-Make sure that you're wholeheartedly making time for your spouse and your marriage.
-There needs to be respect in the relationship by both partners for each other.
-There is no place for cheating in a marriage.
-There needs to be room for individuality for each partner in a relationship.
-Good communication is absolutely vital, while poor communication often exacerbates the situation.
-Allow yourself the right to have your feelings about situations.
-You should not need to grovel to gain your spouse's love.
-You need to know how to keep your mood positive.
-You need to take care of yourself (your appearance and your health) if you are going to be successful.
-In order to work on your marriage, you need to work on yourself.
Working things out as a couple seems to be quite complicated at times and a lot of hard work but again I say it is possible.
Working at changing yourself (your attitudes and actions) is maybe the hardest thing.
Habits, especially bad habits, it seems are very hard to break even when we desperately want to.
But as you work through your attitudes, actions and emotions in trying to take steps towards saving your marriage remember there is a lot of help available to you.
The internet is a huge resource of information on a number of topics specifically related to marriage issues that can really help you be successful in restoring your marriage.
Unfortunately it is also a place where people get their marriages in trouble through chat places and pornography etc.
So even though it is a great resource it may be the wrong one for you to use.
Many married couples wish they were able to go back in time to the happy days before things started going wrong.
But every relationship has its problems.
And it is those problems that can make the relationship even stronger if they are dealt with correctly.
That is why you need to make every effort to share your problems and worries with your spouse and work on them together.
You probably hear it all the time "talk to your partner and listen to what they have to say".
If there are changes in your behavior you need to make then do it for the sake of your marriage.
Finally, you need to make every effort to make sure that the solutions, (the changes) you make are things that you can make permanent.